What Would You Do?
by Melodic Shadows
Summary: Madoka makes a wish. Pure and utter crack. Read at your own risk.


…..Don't ask. I don't know either. Lets' just say what I had for dessert tonight inspired this, and leave it at that.

Let's get on with it before we think too much on the matter, yah?

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><p><strong>What Would You Do?<strong>

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><p>Sighing audibly for the umpteenth time that day, Madoka Kaname trudged through the hallways of Mitakihara Middle School, towards her chemistry class. The book bag in her left hand, missing half its strap, was strewing its contents onto the floor behind her, creating a trail that a blinded mongoose could follow. Black storm clouds seemed to hover over the girl's head, casting violent rain showers that soaked her hair and uniform, earning her several strange stares and curious offers of umbrellas. All of which she ignored, too lost in her own thoughts.<p>

The day had started off well enough. Waking up to a beautiful sunrise, her first order of business was to glomp the nearby stuffed animal that rested on the side of her bed with a vigorous fervor, rubbing her cheek against the plush's with as much love as a chocolate-dipped unicorn. Unfortunately, said stuffed animal was sentient, to a degree, was several thousand years older than her, and was trying to kill her with a contract that would drain her soul from her body and turn her into the next Armageddon. But we don't know that yet, so hush up for now.

Needless to say, the glomped Incubator took the affection like a man and simply asked for another contract, to which Madoka gave the same answer: her mother wouldn't let her get another cell phone since the incident several months prior involving Sayaka, two bowling balls, and a crowded pizza palace. Kyubey attempted a retort for the umpteenth time, but was sadly interrupted by Madoka's high-pitched giggle, followed by her zooming out the door heading for class.

Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse for our dear heroine the moment she arrived at the school gates. Due to her sneaking out with Sayaka for some late night music blasting the night prior, Madoka had completely forgotten to do the history homework due for first period. Under normal circumstances this would not have been a problem for her, but the upper classman she used to copy off of had her head bitten off by a ten foot tall worm. Life's a bitch like that. She'd have to find a new copying partner later.

Needless to say, Madoka spent most of history class nodding her head up and down like a mechanized robot, not bothering to stop even during the quiz at the end of the class. Turning in a blank sheet to the professor wasn't the best of options, but a headless copying partner isn't very good at giving her answers when she most needs them.

English was no better. Most of the class was spent in groups of two, and Madoka winced when she heard her name paired with one Homura Akemi. Though Madoka considered the girl a friend, her bipolar attitude tended to get on her nerves. Not even focusing on the assignment, Homura repeatedly slammed her head into the desk, going from crying tangents about different universes, to heartfelt love proclamations, to cold and bitter stares at Madoka, whispering incoherently about a "contract" and a "shotgun to the face."

Needless to say, Madoka left English in a hurry.

Finally reaching the doors to the chemistry lab, Madoka moved to open them, before a violent explosion tore the doors off their hinges, sending shards of glass, students, and the occasional professor flying through the doorway, the wall, and the girl's locker room at high speed. Glancing in, Madoka noticed a very singed Sayaka, holding the butt end of a match and an extremely singed violin. The aching stench of burned twine reached Madoka's nostrils, and a cursory glance showed the violin's bowstring still singed.

Madoka sighed. Sayaka played the violin _way _too fast for her own good. Why she was playing the violin in the chemistry class, she would never know.

Glumly turning around, Madoka began to move for the student lounge. Chemistry would no doubt be canceled, as the professor would have to pull some strings (pun intended) to get the class to attend on time.

Upon passing the teacher's lounge, Madoka heard the melodic jingle of a show tune being played. Upon hearing the shameless product placement through the TV, a though immediately jumped into her head. That's exactly what she needed!

Quietly slipping into the lounge, she made her way towards the room's freezer. Tossing the door open, a cursory glance revealed salads, ice cubes, and snowmen...but not what she wanted. This couldn't stand! When Madoka Kaname is having a bad day, she knew she needed her comfort food, nobody through hell or high water was going to stand in her-

"Is that what you're willing to do?"

Whipping around, Madoka came face to face with Kyubey.

"If you wish, I can gra-"

"Yes!" Madoka shouted, glomping the Incubator for the second time that day. "I want it! I want..._ice cream!_"

Kyubey sighed. "Very well."

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><p>Homura, upon seeing a bright flash of pink that everyone in the school presumed as normalcy, charged into the teacher's room, shotgun at the ready.<p>

Inside, she saw Madoka, dressed in a frilly pink dress, with an ice cream bar in one hand and her Soul Gem in the other.

"Madoka..." Homura stated slowly, trying to keep her cool. "What...What did you do? What in the name of Walpurgis did you wish for?"

"What did I do?" Madoka giggled. "Homura, what would _you_ do for a Klondike bar?"

Homura sighed, and primed her shotgun.

She was going to have a fun time explaining this to the teachers.

"This."

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><p><strong>Crack End. WEEEW.<strong>


End file.
